Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Fat Green Beans

I call this one Fat Green Bean..
I met him through my brother which was meant to be just a friendship kinda thing. I really liked hanging out with this guy mostly because he was alot of fun and he showed me around redluob town (changed the name of this town too, from privacy reasons ). We hung out quite alot during the summer and he was always really cool to let me crash there when I was to wasted to drive back home (which I mean, wasnt THAT often...) We really started developing a good friendship. And he was even nice enough to introduce me to his very handsome but all to young roommate :) Things seemed grand and this continued for about 4 or 5 months and one sudden dark day, he dropped the biggest green bean of them all on me.. and that was... the L word. Cue world stopping and jaws 3 music and bam! You've got a shell shocked drunk Katie on your hands. So lets emerge ourselves in this little bit in time shall we? "Katie I have to tell you something" -Fat GB "OK go" -Ktc "Well this isn't easy for me but I just gotta tell you how I feel" -FGB "...um OK...."-ktc "its just that.. I think I love you." -FGB "Um FGB no you don't you dont even know me that well other then the light surface you've skimmed" -Ktc "no I do I love you"- FGB "FGB Its just that I cant ever see myself with you and I like you as a friend nothing more so please don't do this"-Ktc "no I have to"-FGB " then I dunno if we can be friends because your feelings are much stronger then mine" -ktc " fine, I hate you, your a whore"-FGB (OK maybe that last text didn't exactly go like that but close enough) And he did proceed to tell everyone we hung out with AND my BROTHER that I was a slut and a whore who should die. Ill never look at Fat Green Beans the same...

Monday, July 13, 2009

Jumbo Jerk

We'll call this next guy ... Jumbo Jerk. I met him at Fridays and we totally hit it off great despite my extreme intoxication, He was even nice enough to make sure I got home safely (ok home to his couch) and he didn't even try to make a dishonest move on me that night. I got his number (although I don't remember much of the night) and later that week he asked me to dinner. I was way excited because this guy was very handsome and very independent and on his feet. Dinner and a movie was a huge success, he even paid for the whole evening (yes I offered to help pay for everything). For the rest of the week he invited me over every night to watch movies and eat dinner (he ordered pizza one night and cooked the next) and I was really starting to dig him alot. Although he did try to get in my nickers (sorry ma) he was very unsuccessful both attempted tries. All seemed grand and a couple weeks passed till one drunken mistake (on his behalf) when he text me at 2 am to see what I was doing. "Going home from downtown" I replied "Come over" was his.... "I cant I've been drinking and have no way there." "Your loss" was his next message.... cue screeching record and jaw drop MY LOSS? MINE? Is this guy for real? "UM no I'm pretty sure its your loss because YOUR the one texting ME and 2 am" was my bullet shot back at him. "Whatever" was his only response..... yeah whatever is right. Jerk. And then this is where you add stupidity to the mix: "So whats the verdict?" He so had the nerve to ask I say "on what?" and he so simply says "coming over" your kidding right? "No can do". And that was the last I ever decided to hear from Jumbo Jerk again.. yes note the decided because it was my decision....

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Friday Night Hottie

I met this real cutie on Friday Night (as some of you know) and totally missed my opportunity on Friday to get his number. Then on Saturday night I ran into him again! totally weird and random cause downtown Denver is so vast that its not to likely that Id run into him again unless you know someone that knows someone to re-meet someone. So I asked for his number and made plans to hang out this coming Thursday and went home a happy lady. Then on Monday I get a text from him and we start talking and he asked what my plans were, I said none yet and he asked me if I wanted to hang out. I said sure. So we arranged plans to meet at his house and go from there.. Panic set in and my god I was nervous! But I swallowed my nerves (and a little beer) and headed to his house over off 120Th and Washington. When I arrived to his house he said "ok come in", I'm thinking you cant come meet me at the door? but whatever and walked in and holy hell I was so nervous I probably looked like I just shit 1000 bricks or something. But despite all that I calmed down and we started talking about baseball and things and I asked him what he does and he said he teaches special Ed at some elementary school and that he just graduated from CSU, hes originally from Boston and he tells me hes very close with his family and he has 2 sisters. It all seems so perfect I start to freak out more. Then he says Your making me nervous do you want a drink with me? I said maybe in a bit but go ahead, so he does. He starts taking shots of whisky and I'm thinking ok.. no big deal he just needs to calm down sure. And that's when it all started to take a turn for the worse... He stars getting a little drunk I can tell cause he just started getting that look in his eye that some guys get when they drink. And then I swear to you I felt like The Perfect Man that I just met walked away and let a retard come in his place instead. He started saying things like hes nervous and that he never asks girls to hang out and that hes only had one relationship before and it was for 3 months (my thoughts are ok so he must be a 1 night stand kinda guy) and that He thinks I'm the prettiest girl hes ever had over to this house (mind you he just moved in 2 weeks ago and I also thought this is bullshit as well) and Then he started saying things like I like you and I think I could fall for you and just started being really weird. And when I wouldnt say I liked him back he would get real mad and leave the room for a long time. If I had to describe it to you Id describe him as a guy with 2 personalities that tried to be a smooth guy and then tried to play it off like he has no idea what hes doing when it came to girls. And he also reminded me of a mental kid.. no joke. It was just way bizarre, and then he started getting mad when I wouldn't say I liked him back so that's when I said I gotta go and got my stuff and left... My luck with men has been quite random lately....