Talking Thursday

I thought Id take a moment to explain my wordless Wednesday. This is my bestest (and most favorite) nephew, (alright and my only) He is probably the best little man in my life and hes such a hoot! Hes learning how to finally put his words together and form sentences and hes is just so cute! And so far, he never lets me down, he never blows me off on a dinner date and he sure doesnt try any moves besides for maybe sneaking some candy, (does it count as sneaking if Im the one sneaking it to him?) Hes got the best mommy and daddy so he is always happy. AND he lets ME rock him to sleep for nap time and I get to sing my favorite song to him. I just tear up every time I get to sit there and watch him fall into a sweet somber.. What a great Joy this little man has brought to my life.. Hes sure worth living for. :)

Wordless Wednesday (going out of the norm today)

Awkward Allen Has Just Entered the Building Everyone!

This one is short....

I met a guy at work a few months back and we hit it off really well, well for the most part. We didnt ever really hang out outside of my work but regardless he got my phone number and I was exctied to actually met a normal guy. A few days past and he finally called and asked me to hang out (maturity was apparent because he called and not text me). I agreed to hang out and we decided on dinner at his place with his roommate and him, they were cooking a ham. Did I mention this ham was sent and I quote "from momma Smith" (please note last name was changed for privacy purposes) And did I also mention that "Daddy Smith" was a big time lawyer? Yes so far he had alot going for him, He was in school AND he had a job. All seems like its going great right? Right.. Kinda.. Except for when I arrived at his house to eat, he really didn't ask me any questions about me and I found myself asking most if, not all the questions.. even to his roommate.. So you know what ever I was relaxed and did most the asking no big deal.. we watched a movie.. he attempted to hold my hand.. Kinda.. All in All, there wasn't any thing bad that happened but there also wasn't anything.. well exciting.. at all.. I felt like I was hanging out with a cousin or something.. It was just really weird. So I left feeling... bored.. and went on with my life with the famous last words from his mouth Ill give you a call tomorrow proceed with awkward hug and BAM getting in my car and turning on the radio was the most exciting part of the whole 4 hours I spent that night. And Get this, I know totally Shocking, he never called.. And this is the sad part. I didn't even notice till 4 days later when someone asked me... Anyway I never really thought twice about him, he stopped coming into work so I figured you know there just wasn't chemistry right? And Not even a week ago he shows up to my work, sits down and talks about himself the whole time and then when he was getting ready to leave he says this "alright well Im leaving.. you still have my number right? and normally, and when I say normally I mean if I wasnt so bitter towards the naive-ness of the male species lately, I would have been so nice and made up some stupid excuse as to why I no longer have his number, but I mean I havent been normally lately so I straight up said.. No.. I deleted it... and his response? haha well it went like this wow... rude.. well ok... and I replied like this what? I havent seen or heard from you in 3 months and you expect me to keep your number?? and he said.. right.. well.. ill shoot you a text then with my number.. bye and I simply and so kindly (and with a smile) said.. Im sure you will .. and I felt so much better.

Downtown Dumbass

I was downtown the other night with a few girlfriends at cowboy lounge for ladies night when a strange man came up to me and said "Katie o my god hi!" .... who the hell is this? taking in subject... parted hair neatly combed and gelled, check.. pink button up shirt, check... sweater tied around waist... wait what? I know that sweater... I remember thinking this exact thought about what a queer this guy looks like sometime before... O my god.. this can not be. I met this guy like 2 years ago downtown at lodos on beer pong night. And cue my story...

It was a cold night in Lower Downtown Denver when my friends and I arrived at LODOS bar and grill to do the usual drinking and socializing when I met this guy, and Im sorry I cant remember his name for the life of me, when this special occasion occurred. And this is how this guy introduced him self to me.. Heyyyy we went to highschool, you remember me? WTF who is this guy.. takin in subject: neatly parted hair combed to the side and neatly gelled, check ... purple button up shirt, check... sweater tied around shoulders, check.. (which later became tied around his waist) me: uh hi.. no I dont remember you I'm sorry where did you go to school? Him: ummmmm northwest high right? me: rolling eyes no not even close. him: oh well hi my name is.. ___ I dont remember me: hi Im Katie.. Him: can I buy you a drink? (please keep in mind that I was a small little rookie of downtown denver and had no clue how to deal with creeper guys) anyway long story short (kinda) he bought me a drink and we ended up talking (I mean I couldnt be mean could I? *snorts*) and I swear he got so drunk he told me this 5 hour long story (exaggeration added for emphasis) about "him and his friend just moving up to town and meeting these girls who they hung out with all night and his friend was so into this girl he told her that he lived right next to her and would share a taxi with her but in reality he had no idea where he ended up at and didnt know how to get home" me:... Okkk wow great story dude. Well it was GREAT meeting you.. him: wait can I get your number? me: umm ( f my life) sure... *scribble scribble* ok bye :) well luckly he never really called me (must have been due to my accidental scribble of my number). But lucky me I ran into him the following week at the same bar.. (f my life again) and blah blah he bought me a beer or 5 (what? It was the only way to deal with this guy, whom I swear was wearing a sweater on his waist again) And I swear he got so drunk he told me the exact same story the exact same way with his exact same smelly breath and wearing his gay little sweater.. me: alright well that was an awsome story.. him: can I buy you another beeME: YES PLEASE!!!!!! me: ok well thanks for the beer have a good night. and I walked away hoping to never see him, again until 2 years later and dont worry when I saw him a few weeks ago (and much more experience under my downtown belt) I quickly ran away before he could tell me his amazing adventures..

And good night. xoxo

Mc PeePants

I just remembered this guy and man o man its a doozie!

I met this guy up in boulder from mutual friends (actually I think he was a friend of one of the guys I dated, Ill blog about that one later) Whenever I went to Boulder it was either Green Bean or this guy, Ill call him.. Mc PeePants, that I hung out with. This guy was way cute, good body, great personality extremely funny. When we went out it was always guaranteed to be a blast of a time because him and his friends were so much entertainment and they always paid for our drinks :o)
I remember this one night we took the bus from his house to the bars in Boulder which meant guaranteed wasted-ness. We went all over the town that night and Melissa and I had so much fun. Finally at closing time we walked all the way back to his house, which wasn't close. I really wanted to go home but I had had way to much to even think about driving home so it looked as though we were there for the night. I called Mc PeePants bed and Melissa called (we'll call his friend cheap) cheap's bed, Not really thinking that they would sleep in the beds with us (drunk=naive). I decided that I was done for the night even though they all clearly wanted to drink more so I said my good nights and went to bed, alone. Little did I know that when I called Mc PeePants bed he didn't seem to get the hint that He couldn't join (again drunk=naive), and was rudely awaken to the sounds of running water, almost like a calm flowing water fall.......... wait, what the deuce? I don't remember a waterfall when I went to bed! I appallingly looked to my right only to find a completely naked man.. brace yourselves, peeing the bed... Yes He literally got so piss drunk he pee'd the bed. I will let you all know that I instantly removed myself from his side so fast that even superman would have been surprised, mind you completely free of his... urine... and spent the rest of the night/morning sleeping in my car..

Fat Green Beans

I call this one Fat Green Bean..
I met him through my brother which was meant to be just a friendship kinda thing. I really liked hanging out with this guy mostly because he was alot of fun and he showed me around redluob town (changed the name of this town too, from privacy reasons ). We hung out quite alot during the summer and he was always really cool to let me crash there when I was to wasted to drive back home (which I mean, wasnt THAT often...) We really started developing a good friendship. And he was even nice enough to introduce me to his very handsome but all to young roommate :) Things seemed grand and this continued for about 4 or 5 months and one sudden dark day, he dropped the biggest green bean of them all on me.. and that was... the L word. Cue world stopping and jaws 3 music and bam! You've got a shell shocked drunk Katie on your hands. So lets emerge ourselves in this little bit in time shall we? "Katie I have to tell you something" -Fat GB "OK go" -Ktc "Well this isn't easy for me but I just gotta tell you how I feel" -FGB "...um OK...."-ktc "its just that.. I think I love you." -FGB "Um FGB no you don't you dont even know me that well other then the light surface you've skimmed" -Ktc "no I do I love you"- FGB "FGB Its just that I cant ever see myself with you and I like you as a friend nothing more so please don't do this"-Ktc "no I have to"-FGB " then I dunno if we can be friends because your feelings are much stronger then mine" -ktc " fine, I hate you, your a whore"-FGB (OK maybe that last text didn't exactly go like that but close enough) And he did proceed to tell everyone we hung out with AND my BROTHER that I was a slut and a whore who should die. Ill never look at Fat Green Beans the same...

Jumbo Jerk

We'll call this next guy ... Jumbo Jerk. I met him at Fridays and we totally hit it off great despite my extreme intoxication, He was even nice enough to make sure I got home safely (ok home to his couch) and he didn't even try to make a dishonest move on me that night. I got his number (although I don't remember much of the night) and later that week he asked me to dinner. I was way excited because this guy was very handsome and very independent and on his feet. Dinner and a movie was a huge success, he even paid for the whole evening (yes I offered to help pay for everything). For the rest of the week he invited me over every night to watch movies and eat dinner (he ordered pizza one night and cooked the next) and I was really starting to dig him alot. Although he did try to get in my nickers (sorry ma) he was very unsuccessful both attempted tries. All seemed grand and a couple weeks passed till one drunken mistake (on his behalf) when he text me at 2 am to see what I was doing. "Going home from downtown" I replied "Come over" was his.... "I cant I've been drinking and have no way there." "Your loss" was his next message.... cue screeching record and jaw drop MY LOSS? MINE? Is this guy for real? "UM no I'm pretty sure its your loss because YOUR the one texting ME and 2 am" was my bullet shot back at him. "Whatever" was his only response..... yeah whatever is right. Jerk. And then this is where you add stupidity to the mix: "So whats the verdict?" He so had the nerve to ask I say "on what?" and he so simply says "coming over" your kidding right? "No can do". And that was the last I ever decided to hear from Jumbo Jerk again.. yes note the decided because it was my decision....